Trusting

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11


I have contemplated writing about this because if it doesn't come to pass, I'm sure, at first, there will be disappointment and confusion. And it may be hard for me to read, but God does have a plan and in the end, once that plan is revealed, then it will be awesome to have a record of how He brought us there.


As many of you know, for the past 2 years, James has been finishing his pre-reqs and applying to med schools.  In the Fall, he had his first interview with KU Med. The school is expanding to add a 4 year campus in Wichita and we thought that would be perfect so we wouldn't have to completely uproot the family.  He was told by a few Dr's that he shouldn't have anything to worry about regarding admissions.  We were just so excited about the prospect! But, it did not come to pass.  He found out that KU thought his scholastic and concern for the community was a match for the program, but felt that maybe he didn't know what it would take to be a doctor.  After discussing some of the answers he gave for how he would handle family and school, we talked about how to improve those answers. We were still left with disappointment and wonderment regarding what the plan was going to be now.


We decided that he should apply to the DO school in KC.  That's my hometown and all of my family is still there.  It would be incredible to have such a huge support system just down the street (or a few miles away!)  He received an email from the school this past week requesting an interview on Feb. 1st.  James let out a barely audible gasp and then said "wow" before telling me of the email.  We both had been praying for this opportunity for him to interview again this year.  He has scheduled a few times to meet with "Doctor Friend" (our former PCP who is James' good friend) to go over some of the questions he may be faced with.


Meanwhile, at night, I have been feverishly looking at for sale houses online.  I am a nerd and love to peruse these websites to see what is out there.  Currently, I think that getting a house close to my parents would be ideal because if I needed something, they wouldn't be too far away.  But, such is the case in any major city, you have to be mindful of which schools your kiddos would have to attend and what not.  I have found a few that I love, close to my parents, and good schools nearby.  


Along with housing, I've also been looking at open nursing positions.  While we don't know what the financial aid packets look like, I highly doubt that they offer a good, family health insurance policy. This means that I would probably need to work at least part-time if not full-time to support the family.  I knew that staying home may only last for a short season and while the idea of not being home daily makes me a little teary, I know that if this is what I am supposed to do, then God will give me the strength and courage to do it. 


It is hard not to dream and think about what it would be like to live by my parents, my sister/husband, nieces, aunts/uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc.  I asked Malachi if he would like to live close to Grammie and Papa and Cousins Sofia and Stella.  He said, "I think I would like that very nice".  I think I would like that very nice, too.


As exciting as it is to think about, though, I know that leaving this place would be heart-wrenching.  Since we've been married (7 1/2 years now), we have always lived in the Wichita area.  We are a part of an awesome church family, we live in a smaller town which we wanted, and we have incredible friends.  But I know that God would not take us away from all of this and then not supply our needs.


While in my mind, this seems like the perfect fit for my family, I need to just rely on God.  He knows my future and my future will be full of hope.  Even though I don't know how this will end, I know that He knows the ending, and that's all that matters.